GO WEST, YOUNG POKER TOUR

Great moments in British Columbia history:

July 20, 1871: British Columbia becomes the sixth province to join Confederation, after the Canadian government agrees to extend the Canadian Pacific Railway and to assume the colony's debt.

July 1, 1967: Pamela Anderson born in Ladysmith.

July 2, 2003: IOC president Jacques Rogge announces that Vancouver has been selected to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, beating out Pyeongchange, South Korea and Salzburg, Austria.

November 1, 2006: The Red Hot Poker Tour holds its first tournaments outside of Ontario.

Players from BC that qualified for the national championship

L-R: Ken Frederiksen and David Bishop from Kelowna, Doug Kimola and Drew Thompson from Victoria)

Back in the game's glory days, poker was played by hockey-jersey-wearing domestic-beer-drinking cigarette-chain-smoking men and women of all ages, shapes, and sizes.  Or, well, actually that's not entirely true.  Poker's real glory days were populated by cigar-chomping road-gambling men named Amarillo and Texas Dolly and, uh, Stuey.  But poker's Canadian bar league glory days were certainly loaded with people like those described above.  The Red Hot Poker Tour led the way in this regard, fostering a community of players that loved their Leafs, and loved chasing straights even more.

But the times, as Bob Dylan once said, are a-changing.

And in that spirit, I'd like to be the first to welcome our western neighbours to the fray.  You don't know what you're about to get into, and I for one envy your ignorance.  For Red Hot offers a surprise around every corner, and, if you're lucky, a tournament every night of the week.

So is there anything you should know beforehand, to make your Red Hot tournament a smoother, funner experience?  Well of course there is.  What a silly question.

Each tournament begins with your trusty Tournament Director outlining the rules of the match, leading a round of applause for the bar, and announcing to the assembled throng that it's time to "shuffle up and deal."  But your experience really begins before that.  Get to the bar early, and enjoy some of the culinary delights that it has to offer.  Can I recommend the quesadilla?  They're always tasty.  Or perhaps you'd like to try the chicken fingers.  Double your order for a penny, tonight.  It's a deal too great to pass up.

Sometimes you'll have to figure out a side pot, if someone is all-in and several other players call.  Here's a suggestion: make sure as many hands are in the pot moving the chips around, and as many voices are shouting out numbers as loud as possible.  One of the hands, and one of the voices, is bound to get it right somewhere along the way.  If that doesn't work, just call the TD over to sort out the mess.  If they shrug their shoulders, roll their eyes, and slowly slink away, well, don't worry.  I'm pretty sure it was going to be a split pot anyway.

Near the end of a tournament, it's often proper strategy to "check it down" amongst the live players when a shortstack is all-in.  But the trick is you can't explicitly agree to check it down.  That's collusion.  So try checking with a closed fist and a loud bang.  Or, before the flop is dealt, announce, "I check!" in as booming a voice as possible.  Or maybe just wink at the other live player, and hope that he/she doesn't think you are trying to pick them up.  And if they do think you are trying to pick them up, go out and have a good time.  You work hard, you deserve it!

You might find yourself in position where someone calls your big bet, sucks out on you with a trashy hand, and justifies their play by saying, "it was suited."  Resist the urge to get mad, and don't go seeking retribution by TP'ing their house.  The judge won't look kindly on you.  Trust me.  No seriously: TRUST ME!

If you do find yourself down to the felt, relieved of all your chips by someone chasing their flush draw down to the river, have some class, shake their hands, and say, "good game".  (Author's note: I can see some of my Toronto mates shaking their collective heads, and snorting loudly at the thought of me giving this advice; well, all I can say to that is this: do as I say, not as I do.)

And lastly, if you are lucky enough to make the final table, and don't immediately see your points up on the leader board the next time you check it, be sure to badger your local TD into tracking down said points as fast as possible.  Remember: It is your duty to keep your TDs honest, and attentive.  They'll appreciate all the help.

And my last tip for you is probably rather obvious.  But I've seen many people, including myself, overlook it on many, many occasions.  And that last tip is this:

Have fun.

So now you're ready for some Red Hot action.  Go forth, bluff and gamble, make friends, and have an awesome time.  And we'll see the best of you in Toronto in March at the Tournament of Champions, and we expect at least one of you to keep tradition alive with at least one player making the final table.  However, if you don’t, you can't miss us: we'll be the ones still playing after all you West Coast suckers have busted out.  Oh c'mon, you didn't think I'd miss an opportunity to toss out the first salvo of trash talk in this little East Coast vs. West Coast rivalry, did you?